I once drove an Uber passenger to a condo. As I pulled out of the driveway, I passed a man I knew. Just months earlier, I’d been his part-time business development guy.
I’m fairly sure he saw me. I’m very sure I pretended not to see him.
I’d been an MD. I’d run my own business for over a decade. And there I was, avoiding eye contact from behind the wheel.
The dinner
I’ve been thinking about that moment because of a recent dinner with some army friends.
One of them has only ever had one job, in the company his family owned. When it went for an IPO, he became a director, walked away with a pot of gold, and hasn’t really worked since. I’m not even sure he’s still a director there. Early retirement, more or less.
The friend sitting next to me has a harder story. He left a compliance job at a bank some time ago and hasn’t been able to get back in. These days he drives deliveries, partly to pass the time, partly to make ends meet.
Two very different bank balances. But both of them, in their own way, struggle a bit when someone asks what they do these days. I know that feeling well.
“So, what do you do?”
Go to any networking event in Singapore and count how long it takes before someone asks what you do. I’d bet under a minute. And the answer is always a job.
With a title, it’s the easiest question in the world. Without one, you start mumbling. “In between jobs” and “looking around” are technically answers, but you can watch the other person’s face scramble for the next line. Then, somehow, everyone needs a refill.
We’re terrible at downtime here. Take an afternoon off and you feel like you’re falling behind. We live to work, and we’re a little bit proud of it.
I once saw an Instagram skit where a woman played both characters: an American working in a French company, and the French HR person who finds her still at her desk after hours.
“Why are you still in the office?”
“Because I have work.”
“But it’s knock-off time.”
“The work isn’t finished.”
“That’s what tomorrow is for.”
I laughed. Then I realised I’d have given the American’s answers, word for word.